篮球是我生命中最要的一部分之一，每当我深处低谷的时候只要拿着篮球到球场上，从白天到晚上，一直到我小腿抽筋，连挪挪裤腰带的力气都没有的时候，我躺倒篮球场上，一切烦恼的事情都能将其忘却，这么多年，我经历的挫折让我不断的成长，但真正面对挫折让我勇敢站起来，篮球无疑是最重要的因素，我毫无保留的让我的闲暇时间被带篮球带到它的世界中去，我享受着投篮那刷的一声清脆，我享受着每一次变线防守队员对我露出的无奈表情，我享受着从比分落后到追平，再到赶超记分牌翻动那一秒的痛快，我享受着比赛结束那一声哨响，篮球，对我来说已不单纯的是一项运动，他已经成为我生命中的一部分，我尽情的享受着篮球带给我的快乐，那不是一个仅仅喜欢篮球就可以理解的感觉。

对于每一个对手，我把机会给你，我把胜利给我！

这一刻,我就是主宰者！

 

时间：2006年07月05日

地点：公司办公室

人物：我、某流氓软件、我的电脑

事件：因为上午偷偷用BT下电影的时候不留神点到一个网站中，于是恶梦来袭，先是电脑象脑滩一样不听使唤，接着莫名的电脑中安装了一个叫“酷桌面”的软件，虽然看上去听漂亮，来来回回的不停地变换中背景，但心里总有被强奸的感觉！

原本打算就这样吧，好歹也不算太恶心，留着就留着了，可是万万没想到，恶梦开始了，只要一打开IE，我从来不屑于看但经常会看的网页没了命的往外涌，奇怪的软件叮铃矼啷的往上装，直接导致内存不足，重启不断，WO CAO tmd，费他妈半天劲还是没删掉，只好ghost，更火的是今天的事还是一大堆，唉，懒得说了！

酷桌面，我操你大爷！！从开发到策划！！！

 

    记得在学校宿舍里一个人半夜劲头十足的把1和2一口气看完，事隔1年，虽然人前只要一提到电影就会手舞足蹈的给大家讲述这部片子的精彩之处，好像没看过这么经典的片子的人都是应该算做是没有看过电影的人一样。可的确对3的期盼已经不在，说实话，我会去看这部电影，但是我不会对他有太大的期望。

事实也真的是这样，预感－死亡－幸存者与死亡斗争－斗争来斗争去继续死亡，基本上没有悬疑片中的悬疑可言，有的只是从影片中死亡形式中存在的巧合与暗示唏嘘不已，不过说实话，看完三部，似乎对2中的死亡情节设计更印象深刻，3中明显感觉不够饱满。

我承认我是个略微胆小的人，但决不至于看完恐怖电影就不敢一个人睡觉，可昨天还是没睡着，不是害怕，就是辗转难眠的，总是将电影里的情节与生活中的现象对号入座，以至于昨晚一晚上没开电扇，没热死我。是了，我突然明白了，其实我并不是害怕的睡不着，我只是热的睡不着而已，所以请不要说我胆小了，最多是怕热而已，哈哈。

正当我准备坦然入睡的时候，一个镜头一晃而过，电影里不就有两人被烤成木炭了么。。

我靠，什么世道！老子不睡了行不行！

    去十渡玩了一天半，想到最大的乐趣其实也就是临走前一天晚上战至半夜3天的杀人游戏，胖子似乎是最大的游戏热衷者，但他的热衷其实只是想证明着什么。

    玩游戏的起因比较简单，就是因为住着的农家小屋已经变成了动物园，各种类型的昆虫在屋子里肆无忌惮的飞来飞去，最看不惯的就是一只硕大的小强在墙上来回游弋，分明在向我们几个大男人挑衅，叫嚣了一阵后我们最终还是离开了卧室，毕竟还是有房间可以睡么，干吗在这跟他叫劲了么。

    说实话，除了娃娃，其他人都是第一次玩这个游戏，其他人基本都是仅仅限于听说过而已，不过好在大家都是接受过一定教育的人，经过娃娃的讲解，就这么着把摊子哄起来了。

    游戏过程中几个小插曲：

1、  老李居然喝了一瓶啤酒，吐了！

2、  小秋居然说玩的太恐怖，跑了！

3、  香水说根本入不了角色，睡了！

4、  山海总被人首轮就杀掉，怒了！

5、  刘江总能把亢亢揪出来，笑了！

6、  亢总被刘江无原因逮住，傻了！

    玩到最后，对游戏本身没有什么感觉了，但大家得到一个统一的结论，似乎群里还没有这样一次对一件事或者一个人如此统一的定性过，也算是一次突破了。

胖子是智障――鉴定完毕！

每天上班下班,睡觉吃饭,单调而枯燥的空气弥漫在我的生活,我不甘心流于平淡的生活,我不甘心做着毫无价值的工作,可是又能怎么样呢,来了北京不知不觉已经半年了,细细想来我到底得到了什么,是简历上那近乎吹嘘的工作经验,还是故做成熟的沧桑容颜,漂泊的日子是不好过,但不是不能过,我不知道这种对我来说近乎无聊的工作还能让我保持多大的热情,但是我知道3个月即将过去,面对转正我该何去何从,此时心中已有定论,心里也坦然了些,我不想现在就这么安逸的过着,年轻时不抓紧时间锻炼自己,会给自己的未来留下更多的遗憾,我不是一个会后悔的人,因此我不想多年以后因为在这样一个不能体现自我价值的工作岗位浪费我最宝贵的学习时间而后悔,我不怕别人说眼高手低,只有自己心里清楚自己到底适合不适合一份工作,毕竟谁不是自私的呢,更何况我的自私是为我将来一辈子的幸福,对了,不得不提一件让我很高兴的事,从原来的每天交通费12元变成现在的4元,我真的感觉很爽,从以前我总觉得为了省那一块钱在公车上绞尽脑汁是多么的无聊到现在的为了好几块钱而殚精竭虑,才知道生活就是见很俗的事情,可是俗是不是也要俗出个彩来呢,呵呵.生活让我学会的就是撕掉自己清高的面具,投身到混沌的现实中去.

我不知道我相不相信缘分，但我觉着在北京一个这样大的城市当中，匆匆的人流中，会遇到自己大学的朋友，当他叫我的时候，我几乎不敢相信我的眼睛，我真的觉的很不可思议，看到他的那一刻，我不自觉的就抱了他一下，大一时，每天一起吃饭，一起旷课，一起打球，大二因为些原因我们不常联系，但这次看到真的感觉好亲切，也许这种感觉只有漂泊在外的人才有吧，记得以前有个不是很熟的朋友在外地上学，放假的时候回来和他在路上偶然遇到，他忽的就抱我个死紧我特诧异，走的时候还心理嘀咕着，有病吧，至于么。哎，等自己遇到这种情况时，才知道感情是会因为环境的变迁而产生微妙的差异，现在我开始慢慢理解这种差异，享受这样的变化，我甚至开始觉的我很珍惜我生命中认识的每一个亲人，每一个朋友，每一个同学，甚至是每一个我很讨厌的人……
珍惜，似乎是一种失去后才会回忆的东西……

热恋中的男孩没钱,他送给他心爱的女孩一把花生,说,我希望他是一颗颗的珠宝

随着岁月的流逝,女孩离去了,男孩握着一把珠宝,说他宁愿手中握着的是当年的那颗颗花生......

 

        从北五环到北三环,从北三环到北四环,在从北四环回到北三环,在从北三环回到北五环,一天就这样度过了,来了北京这么长时间,常常感叹这里最值钱的是时间,生活节奏的加速,工作效率的提高,可细细一想,似乎最不值钱的也是这个时间,往往为了办一件事就要用掉一天的时间,80%的时间在路上,剩下的可能才是你真正办事需要的,城市的扩张真的是好事么?为什么大家都要潮水一般来到这里呢?我又是为什么呢?

我真的不敢去想象,我的生命会有多少浪费在这来来往往的车水马龙上......

都市中的男男女女么,你们有过这样的无奈么?还是我的无病呻吟呢?

不是很喜欢阿姆,却对他的这首stan情有独衷,也不知道为什么....主人公愤怒的呐喊尽情宣泄心中的不满,也许我的心情和他一样吧,虽然我们不是因为同样的原因..

Stan Enimem Chorus: Dido My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I.. got out of bed at all The morning rain clouds up my window.. and I can't see at all And even if I could it'll all be gray, but your picture on my wall It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.. 1st Chorus: volume gradually grows over raindrop background 2nd Chorus: full volume with beat right after "thunder" noise [Eminem as 'Stan'] Dear Slim, I wrote but you still ain't callin I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not-a got 'em There probably was a problem at the post office or somethin Sometimes I scribble addresses too sloppy when I jot 'em but anyways; fuck it, what's been up? Man how's your daughter? My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm bout to be a father If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her? I'ma name her Bonnie I read about your Uncle Ronnie too I'm sorry I had a friend kill himself over some *** who didn't want him I know you probably hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man I like the shit you did with Rawkus too, that shit was fat Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan This is Stan {Chorus: Dido} [Eminem as 'Stan'] Dear Slim, you still ain't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance I ain't mad - I just think it's ***ED UP you don't answer fans If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your concert you didn't have to, but you coulda signed an autograph for Matthew That's my little brother man, he's only six years old We waited in the blistering cold for you, four hours and you just said, "No." That's pretty shitty man - you're like his fuckin idol He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do I ain't that mad though, I just don't like bein lied to Remember when we met in Denver - you said if I'd write you you would write back - see I'm just like you in a way I never knew my father neither; he used to always cheat on my mom and beat her I can relate to what you're saying in your songs so when I have a shitty day, I drift away and put 'em on cause I don't really got shit else so that shit helps when I'm depressed I even got a tattoo of your name across the chest Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me See everything you say is real, and I respect you cause you tell it My girlfriend's jealous cause I talk about you 24/7 But she don't know you like I know you Slim, no one does She don't know what it was like for people like us growin up You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose Sincerely yours, Stan -- P.S. We should be together too {Chorus: Dido} [Eminem as 'Stan'] Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Call-Or-Write-My-Fans, this'll be the last package I ever send your ass It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two letters; I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway Hey Slim, I drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to drive? You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night" about that guy who coulda saved that other guy from drowning but didn't, then Phil saw it all, then at a a show he found him? That's kinda how this is, you coulda rescued me from drowning Now it's too late - I'm on a 1000 downers now, I'm drowsy and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call I hope you know I ripped +ALL+ of your pictures off the wall I love you Slim, we coulda been together, think about it You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me See Slim; {*screaming*} Shut up ***! I'm tryin to talk! Hey Slim, that's my girlfriend screamin in the trunk but I didn't slit her throat, I just tied her up, see I ain't like you cause if she suffocates she'll suffer more, and then she'll die too Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now Oh shit, I forgot, how'm I supposed to send this shit out? {*car tires squeal*} {*CRASH*} .. {*brief silence*} .. {*LOUD splash*} {Chorus: Dido} Dear Stan, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy You said your girlfriend's pregnant now, how far along is she? Look, I'm really flattered you would call your daughter that and here's an autograph for your brother, I wrote it on the Starter cap I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I musta missed you Don't think I did that shit intentionally just to diss you But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too? I say that shit just clownin dogg, c'mon - how fucked up is you? You got some issues Stan, I think you need some counseling to help your ass from bouncing off the walls when you get down some And what's this shit about us meant to be together? That type of shit'll make me not want us to meet each other I really think you and your girlfriend need each other or maybe you just need to treat her better I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time before you hurt yourself, I think that you'll be doin just fine if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Stan why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan I just don't want you to do some crazy shit I seen this one shit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick Some dude was drunk and drove his car over a bridge and had his girlfriend in the trunk, and she was pregnant with his kid and in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to Come to think about, his name was.. it was you Damn!

 

昨天天去体检了,呵呵，找个工作来个全面的检查也不错的说,好久没有这么系统的检查过身体了,正好看看还正常吧,有没有罢工的地出来了....

还好一切正常,听着在我前面的一个个体检的人被大夫说的不是脂肪肝就是高血压的,到我的时候还真害怕大夫看看我说个啥毛病出来,还好每个医生看完我都笑嘻嘻的说不错不错,小伙子继续保持啊,除了一个眼科的医生...

"眼睛到是没什么,就是沙眼."

"沙眼?哦,没事没事,昨天风大,吹了不少沙子到眼睛里了,正常,过两天不刮风就好了:)"

"你家沙眼是这么得的么?回去买瓶眼药水点去..下一个"

旁边排队的MM偷偷的捂着嘴笑.....

干,真丢人,啥叫沙眼啊?nnd,说清楚么!

 

对了,面试多了也有好处,我现在对这面试是从里看到外的看了个透彻了,就那几个问题,来来回回的没点新异,哎,对了,前两天还有个什么公司的,没底薪的问我去不,我特客气的跟那经理说,我说这位先生,人吃饱了才会用心去干活的,然后扬长而去,心里还特牛掰的,现在也有点后悔了,牛掰个屁啊!还不是大闲人一个啊!

哎,每天就在投简历-面试-在投-在面中度过,虽然也挺充实的，不过心里不是个滋味啊,这每天忙忙碌碌的光有产出没有收入的,眼看银行里的存款一天天少下去,心理就开始琢磨着了，我是先卖肝啊,还是先没肺啊,最后研究了半天卖啥都行,就是不能卖了肾!哎,一天那，除了路上就在着瞎琢磨中度过了.

 

两个星期的LG的面试总算是告一段落了,听说共有70人左右参加了面试,我能走到今天这一步已经算是个不错的成绩了,毕竟自己没有过面对外企的经历,而且说实话,也没有想过到外企上班,不过总是一个锻炼自己的机会,能去当然会更好了,两个人中留一个,挺残酷的,不过现实就是这样,当得知自己的竞争对手是公司内部员工推荐的,心里多少有点担心了,不过在中国这个环境中,应该学会理性的面对这个问题,而且，我相信现在在外企应该还是更看中个人的能力吧,我觉得我不差,至少不比我的竞争对手差,这件事已经告一段落了,让我收拾心情,把他放下,前面还有许多机会等着我,我不应该放弃,努力!给自己加油吧,来到我的世界的朋友们也要加油啊!

日子总是在孤独中流逝

这是第二次面试了,明天最后一次了，主考官是韩国人，第一次和韩国人接触,今天看了很多关于韩国方面的礼仪,准备下总是好的,毕竟机会不该错过，都走到这么一步了，奇怪了，怎么就没有中国的企业看上我呢?呵呵，还是自己能力问题吧也许,也许我的文化与价值观更适合外企?不应该啊，我挺传统的一中国人啊~~管他呢，明天在说吧,好好表现,好多朋友等着我的好消息呢,不要让他们失望.

好孤独啊~